Voices

Dr. Sherika Scales has been such a prominent person in my life over the last few years that it should be no surprise that she is the first person to spotlight here at AIAIY. Just to give you a small backstory, we met at church and though it took us a few months to really get connected once we did, we were almost inseparable. The youth joined us, but it was the sometimes brutal and honest call to ministry and what that looks like behind the scenes that kept us bonded.

 

Breaking the Ice

 

How would you explain what you do outside of church? 

Outside of the church, I live out ministry in spaces where faith is often present but unnamed. I help people heal, grow, and become whole—emotionally, mentally, and spiritually—so they can live with purpose and integrity.

Through coaching, consulting, and pastoral care, I walk alongside individuals and organizations as they navigate transition, trauma, leadership development, and identity. While the work often looks practical, it is deeply spiritual at its core—focused on restoration and wholeness.

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I believe ministry happens far beyond the sanctuary—in everyday spaces where real life unfolds. My faith shapes how I listen, support, and challenge people to disrupt unhealthy cycles and build lives rooted in healing and sustainable growth.

 

Calling, Faith & Formation

 

When did you first realize ministry was more than just a role for you?

I first realized ministry was more than a role when I understood that my calling didn’t turn on and off with a title or a position. It showed up in how I listened to people, how I carried their stories, and how I felt responsible for their healing long before I ever stood in a formal ministry role.

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Within the past five years, God has allowed me to reflect back over my life and see that every pivot, every ounce of pain, and even the pure existence of who I am carries purpose. I can testify from experience that nothing was wasted—each moment shaped me to walk with others through pain, transition, and growth. Ministry became less about what I did and more about who I was becoming, and I’ve never been able to separate the two since.

 

Real Life

 

How do you talk about God to people who have been harmed by the church?

I talk about God by first listening. I don’t rush to correct people’s pain or defend the church. I honor their wounds and acknowledge that harm done in God’s name is still harm. Before offering any language about faith, I focus on presence, safety, and trust.

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When I do speak about God, I separate God from the systems that misrepresented Him. I point people toward a God who is patient, honest, and near to the broken—not one who demands performance or silence in the face of harm. I let my life, my integrity, and my willingness to sit with discomfort speak before my theology does.

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For those harmed by the church, healing often comes before belief. My role is not to convince, but to create space where people can encounter God without fear, pressure, or shame.

 

Singleness, Womanhood & Boundaries

 

What has being single taught you about God that marriage culture in the Church doesn’t prepare us for?

Being single has taught me that God is not a placeholder until marriage happens. I was married before, and after that season ended, I had to relearn singleness through the eyes of God—not as loss or failure, but as a sacred space for healing and reformation.

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Marriage culture in the church often frames singleness as something to endure, but this season taught me how to live fully present with God rather than waiting for a future promise to validate my worth. I had to relearn love through God’s lens and understand that love is not synonymous with sex, attachment, or being chosen by someone else.

Singleness has revealed a God who meets me in solitude, reshapes my understanding of love, and calls me whole before—and regardless of—marital status.

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How do you resist the pressure to be “everything” to everyone?​

I resist the pressure to be “everything” to everyone by remembering that my calling is stewardship, not ownership, of people’s lives. God has placed me in specific spaces to serve, but He never asks me to carry everyone’s burdens alone.

 

One way I keep this the main thing is by asking myself, “Did God call me to this?” If I have to think about the answer, it’s usually a sign that I need to keep my nose in my own business. If I get involved at my own will, I’m picking up a weight rather than laying aside the weight.

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Prayer, reflection, and accountability help me discern where to invest energy and where to step back. Ultimately, I remind myself that trying to be everything for everyone is not faithfulness—it’s exhaustion. True ministry, love, and service flow from wholeness, not overextension. God equips me to show up fully where He calls me, not to pour from an empty cup.

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The Hard Stuff 

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How do you grieve while still showing up for others? ​

Grieving while showing up for others has been one of the most intense seasons of my life. Over the span of seven months, I lost two prominent figures who shaped me, a cherished childhood friendship, a breakup, and even family relationships after confronting my abuser. It’s been a season of deep loss and painful endings. So, grief has been my lot this season. 

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I’ve learned that grief and service can coexist—not to compete. I give myself permission to feel the pain fully, to sit in the silence, and to process loss honestly, knowing that God is present even in the heaviness.

At the same time, showing up for others doesn’t mean I pretend to be unaffected. It means I lead with presence and compassion while maintaining healthy boundaries, so I can give without depleting myself. Prayer, reflection, and intentional rest help me stay grounded.

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This season has taught me that showing up is not about platform, performance, or perfection; it’s about authenticity. God meets me in my brokenness and equips me to extend love and care from a place of honesty, not façade. It’s in that balance—between feeling deeply and serving faithfully—that I experience both healing and purpose.

 

Wisdom & Forward-looking

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Lastly, what would you say to black women discerning ministry but afraid of the cost?

To Black women discerning ministry but afraid of the cost, I would say: lean into God’s calling, but don’t ignore the reality of the journey. Ministry is sacred work, but it comes with challenges, heartbreak, and seasons that will test the pure existence of who you say you are - your strength, patience, and faith.

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Know that saying yes to God doesn’t mean saying yes to everything or everyone. Learn to steward your life, your gifts, and your boundaries wisely. Surround yourself with mentors, accountability, and a support system that can hold you when the weight feels heavy. Lean fully into the season you’re in, while also finding peace and containment in the place where God has you right now.

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Most importantly, remember that your value is not measured by the number of people you serve or the sacrifices you make. Your worth is rooted in who God made you to be. Ministry is not about perfection - it’s about faithfulness, authenticity, and allowing God to work through your life, even in the midst of cost.

God calls the prepared and the willing, but He also equips the hurting, the hesitant, and the human. Step forward courageously, knowing that every challenge can be a channel for purpose, healing, and impact.

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Sherika is a mental health counselor, if you would like to contact her for services please feel free to click the link below